Saturday 9 November 2024

The story of the vengeful fox and her spiky sidekick

Animals with attitude are the best. Or in this random skit they are actually the best worst. Did you know that a fox can hold a grudge and a hedgehogs a spiky little sidekick? An avenging duo of amazing attitude.

When a fox has ravished your mum's chickens and picked a fight with your favourite cat, it can make a man feel unreasonable. He sits on the porch, polishing an ancient air gun. It’s springs are barely there and the sight is … well, blind.

To be honest this gun is a disaster waiting to happen. He's more likely to knock his glass off the table with the butt rather than hit anything from the business shooty end.

He took aim at the fox and fired. 

Yes, I’m aware that animals have feelings too. Yes, I am absolutely against animal cruelty. It is awful that the reason foxes are stealing chickens is because forest fires have destroyed their natural habitat. They come down to where the humans live to find shelter and sustenance. 

The first pellet glanced off the animal’s flank. The second hit an old dining room chair near the greenhouse. I can categorically state that no animals were hurt in the entire episode. Not even the faux-leather on the chair was marked or harmed.

After two shots and two misses, the fox's contemptuous glare was enough to deflate the man's indignation. With an absolutely filthy look at the hapless gunman, the fox stalked off, occasionally looking behind her to really demonstrate her outrage. She wasn’t seen again that evening.

He lowered the gun, sighed, and decided he’d done enough wildlife management for one evening. Nonetheless, he sat there for a little while longer to enjoy the uneasy dusky peace of a garden filled with constant bird to-ing and fro-ing. The bats eager to take over the noisy chatter of the sparrows, finches and falcons.

He finished his drink, stubbed out his cigarette, packed up and left for the evening.

“Revenge is sweet”, said the fox as she ensured the cat will never touch his food bowl again. The mess she made warned everyone that she really, really doesn’t approve of airguns. Or cats. Or humans. She didn’t even eat the cat food, she wanted to tantalise them, knowing they’d be too scared to eat.

What the hedgehog made of the episode, we will never know. However, he was keen to contribute his own smaller mark. Another inoffensive poo was left a few metres to the side, far away from the main food bowl drama. 

It was a reminder that you should always be able to recognise animal droppings to find out who holds grudges against you! And never upset the local foxes. 

No comments:

Post a Comment