Snakes and ladders, and other nonsense

Where are we at the village house after this two-week hiatus of moving? After the house move, my routine is definitely out of whack, which combined with a head cold allergy combo, meant that my brain was feeling a bit scatty (no change there then!). I forgot my coat, the firelighters, and the better-tasting bread. Such is life. This blocked nose didn't bode well for all the bending over and hacking at weeds.

We pulled up to the house to the delights of spring; the trees are covered in pale green leaves and shoots, the forsythia is glowing yellow, the wild cherry is humming with insects, and the fields up the hill are carpeted in glorious dandelions. The scent all around is delicious and everything is vibrating with life and growth.

Which is why I found myself crawling around under the house on snake patrol. When Boško was a youngster, the village house was a haven for the famous poskok, the viper which terrorises the Dalmatian hinterland. We have many storage rooms under the house which he was refusing to go near. He volunteered me, because whether it is blissful ignorance or what, I have no fear of snakes.

He informed me that snakes are discouraged by the scent of crumbled firelighters, so I was opening doors and throwing in handfuls of crumbs, praying that nothing shot out to escape the smell. Thankfully nothing snakey emerged.

“Waaaaaaah!”

“What!!!, what is it, is it a snake”, I heard him call out as I shrieked in alarm.

“Oh, just a small wood scorpion. He crept up on me as I opened one of the doors.”

Honestly, if I thought about snakes, pests, bugs, etc., too much, I probably wouldn’t even open the outdoor toilet door. Or wander down the garden, or even get out of the car. I remember seeing a huge snake curled up in a comfy-looking knot at my dad’s place in Spain once. It was under a manhole cover where the main water tap was and he needed to turn off the water. He had to move it with a broom handle. By this point, both my stepmum and I were hiding upstairs looking out of the bathroom window…

But I digress. After ensuring all the wildlife was in its rightful place, Boško was happy to come and explore the contents of the storage cupboards. The scaffolding, wood, barbed wire, piping, and all sorts of practical detritus will probably come in handy one day. The fastenings for the scaffolding are going to need a world of WD40 but that is an issue for another day.

After that excitement, it was time to once again hit the pile of charred wood, leaves, grass and other stuff that had been left from one of the fires a few months ago. This work is back-breaking but I was on the home straight of this pile now. Hack, pull, throw… hack, hack, pull, fall backwards, throw. It's comical, if you're the one watching!

Some of the greenery I was pulling up was still embedded in the earth. When I pull on these thorny shoots, it makes my middle finger nerve tingle. Weird. The brambles really need removing by the root because they get out of control, and the land becomes impassable. The pile of stuff behind me is happily getting bigger which is a fire for the next time we come over.

Success! The ground between the two dead walnut trees is now flat and clean, requiring only a going over with the rotavator to make it plant-ready. The ash, mulch and rotting vegetation is looking really healthy which bodes well for anything we plant here. As for the two dead trees, they will have to come down eventually but in the meantime, it’s a shady spot.

So what has Boško been up to in the meantime? Do you remember the ladder problem? The staircase at the back of the house has been coming along rapidly. That is to say, Dalmatian rapidly. Everything takes longer than expected, which is why it has taken a few months to put together the wooden framework to support the concrete. He tells me he tested the structure by running up and down it and jumping up and down.

I wonder why the neighbours haven’t been over recently?

Needless to say, his wooden frame is solid, the concrete pillars immovable, and the man is happy with the progress. He is excited for me to be able to go upstairs and see the views from what will be our future home. His enthusiasm is rare so it makes me happy to see him so eager to get this stairway done. Nearly there! We are hoping to get the doorway cut out and the new frame and shuttered door in by the end of this weekend.

Did I mention the electrics? His best friend is an electrician and they both went up to the house a few weeks ago. The fusebox was one of the old-fashioned types which consisted of a collection of knob-type connections, with added dinar coins to ensure everything was working well. This wasn’t ideal. However, being the incredible electrics whisperer that he is, he replaced it. Without turning off the electricity. How this man is still alive, I have no idea. We now have a nice new box, which is fastened to the wall using an old cabinet and a piece of wood from a bed. 

My next job is to clear all the newly exposed tree roots from the field. Our digger man came over about a month ago and unearthed some of the more stubborn vines and hackberry trees. Once again this will require more pulling, snipping, and chopping. Once this has been done, the true test of our hard work will be some rotavating. Nonetheless, whilst the field is in this state of nakedness, it makes me sad to see it.

From the neglected jungle to the blasted earth, the garden will get worse before it gets better. But on the bright side, there will be fewer opportunities for us to stand on snakes and all parts of the house and land are accessible, sans stepladders, which is precisely what we were aiming for this spring/summer.