Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Clare's Guide to a Perfect 40th

1. Rise early because you no longer need 9 hours sleep
2. All old people should take some gentle exercise; run wildly into the sea, fall in and swim as far out as possible. Warning: this may upset youthful injuries such as broken toes
3. An emotional challenge like a lady's 40th requires a varied breakfast. Take one breakfast buffet of fruits, hams, cheeses, bread and demolish thoroughly
4. Embrace your wobbly bits by hitting the nudist beach. The startling view of your white flesh in deep crystal clear water makes you realise your body is brilliant!
5. Even better get someone else to embrace wobbly bits
6. Go exploring, sensibly taking enough water, sun protection and stop for a few beers on the way. Forget the advice and arrive back sweaty, thirsty and hungry. 
7. Go for another naked swim
8. Old people need their rest so let your companion sleep while you are pummelled in a beach facing massage tent by a young man
9. Get dressed for dinner. Decide to play a lazy game of bat and ball instead. 
10. After a substantial dinner it's healthful for the elderly to go for a stroll. Round off a perfect day by heading to the nudist bay and watch the moon rise on a new night. 

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